By Erin Lozano, MEd, LPC-Supervisor, RPT-Supervisor
Why Social Skills are Important
Social skills are essential for children! They lay the foundation for healthy relationships and emotional well-being throughout life. From an early age, children use social skills to interact with peers, teachers, and family members. These interactions help them learn how to communicate effectively, express emotions appropriately, and develop empathy for others. When children can share, take turns, listen, and respond respectfully, they are more likely to form positive friendships and feel a sense of belonging. Social skills are closely tied to emotional regulation and resilience. Children who can understand and navigate social situations are better equipped to cope with stress, resolve disagreements peacefully, and bounce back from setbacks. These abilities become increasingly important as they grow older and face more complex social dynamics. By developing strong social skills early on, children are more likely to thrive both socially and emotionally, setting them up for success in adolescence and adulthood.
Common Social Skills Difficulties
Children who struggle with social skills may experience isolation, frustration, or behavioral challenges that can interfere with both learning and self-esteem. Children with social skills deficits may struggle with a variety of behaviors that impact their ability to interact effectively with others. Common challenges include difficulty with self-regulation, sharing and taking turns, compromising, sustaining reciprocal conversations, or understanding social cues such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. These children might interrupt frequently, dominate conversations, or have trouble making or maintaining friendships. They may also misinterpret others’ intentions, causing misunderstandings or conflicts. In some cases, children with social skills deficits might withdraw from social situations altogether due to anxiety or lack of confidence. These difficulties can affect their ability to build friendships, succeed in group settings, and feel included, which may lead to frustration, low self-esteem, or behavioral problems over time.
Factors Contributing to Social Skills Deficits in Children
Several factors contribute to the decline in children’s social skills in recent years:
- Increased Screen Time: The pervasive use of digital devices has reduced face-to-face interactions among children. Excessive screen time, particularly involving online gaming and social networking, has been associated with lower social skills. While not all screen activities have this effect, frequent engagement in these specific areas correlates with diminished social abilities.
- COVID: The pandemic led to social isolation and disrupted traditional socialization opportunities, such as attending school and participating in group activities. For young children, isolation at a crucial stage in their development can lead to social set-backs and difficulties!
- Reduced Unstructured Playtime: There has been a decline in outdoor and unstructured playtime, which is crucial for developing social skills. Play fosters peer interactions, empathy, problem-solving, and cooperation. The decrease in these activities limits opportunities for children to practice and enhance their social abilities.
- Parental and Environmental Factors: Family dynamics, including limited attention from parents and reduced stimulation, can impede the development of social skills. Children require quality interactions with caregivers to learn effective
10 Ways Parents Can Help Their Children Increase Positive Social Skills
Can parents and caregivers do anything to help? The answer is- Yes! Helping kids develop stronger social skills involves creating opportunities for them to interact, guiding them through social situations, and modeling positive behavior.
Here are 10 ways to support their growth:
- Encourage Face-to-Face Interaction
Create regular opportunities for kids to play and engage with peers. This could be through playdates, team sports, clubs, or group activities. Real-life interactions help children learn how to read body language, take turns, and resolve conflicts! - Practice Conversations During Meals
Use mealtime to model and practice taking turns in conversations. Ask open-ended questions like, “What was something fun you did today?” or “How did you feel when that happened?” This helps kids learn to express themselves and listen actively! - Play Games That Teach Turn-Taking & Cooperation
Board games and card games are great for teaching frustration tolerance, sportsmanship, patience, rule-following, and friendly competition. Games like Uno, Candy Land, or Guess Who naturally encourage interaction and teamwork! - Model Positive Social Behavior
Children often learn by observing. Show them how to greet others, express emotions respectfully, calm down appropriately, listen actively, and handle disagreements calmly. - Narrate Social Thinking Out Loud
As situations come up in daily life, talk through your own thoughts and feelings out loud. Narrate your own social thinking out loud so they can understand how you approach social situations! For example: “I’m feeling a little frustrated, so I’m taking a deep breath before I answer.” Or “I’m feeling frustrated. I am going to go take a moment to calm myself down and then I will come back and talk”. This helps kids understand how to regulate emotions while bring respectful to others and remaining in control. - Role-Play Common Social Situations
Pretend play can be a powerful teaching tool! Act out scenarios like introducing yourself, handling a disagreement, or inviting someone to play. Pause and talk through how to handle different responses, both positive and negative. - Teach and Practice Specific Skills
Break down social behaviors into teachable parts. Practice skills like making eye contact, starting conversations, asking questions, and showing empathy. Role-playing different scenarios can be especially helpful! - Teach Emotion Regulation Skills
Social skills go hand-in-hand with emotional regulation. Practice naming emotions, using calming techniques like deep breathing, or creating a “calm corner” where they can go to reset when overwhelmed. - Use Books, Games, and Videos
There are many resources designed to teach social skills in a fun and engaging way. Books about friendship, board games that encourage turn-taking, and videos that model social situations can help reinforce lessons. Choose books or videos that explore emotions, problem-solving, and friendships. After watching or reading, talk about the characters: “How do you think they felt?” or “What could they have done differently?” This builds empathy and critical thinking!|
At CSS we have compiled a list of children’s books that highlight different social skills if you would like a copy of our book list, reach out to us and let us know! - Create a Supportive Environment
Give kids positive reinforcement when they use good social skills! Be patient with setbacks and use mistakes as learning opportunities. A safe, encouraging environment helps children feel confident to try new social behaviors. Catch them being kind! Praise specific behaviors like, “I really liked how you waited your turn,” or “You were such a good listener when your sister was talking.” Or “I noticed how hard you worked on that”. Positive reinforcement makes them more likely to repeat those behaviors!